Music
Recordings and Compositions
Instruments: Viola, Voice
Musician Biography
Reportedly, from the moment I first picked up a viola at age 8, my mother never once had to cover her ears. After receiving childhood music lessons I began studying viola with Carol Rodland (New England Conservatory) at age 15. I made my solo debut at age 20, performing Mozart’s Sinfonia Concertante with the Hilton Head Symphony Orchestra. As a teenager, I toured internationally with the Boston Youth Symphony Orchestras and was a finalist in the 2007 American String Teachers Association National Solo Competition. I studied at Oberlin Conservatory with Peter Slowik and Karen Ritscher, served as principal viola of the Oberlin Chamber Orchestra, and performed in Carnegie Hall with the Oberlin Orchestra under Robert Spano. My chamber music work has taken me to festivals including Bowdoin, Heifetz, and California Summer Music, and I have performed throughout the United States as a soloist, chamber musician, and orchestral violist with treasured colleagues including Mari Poll, Saskia Otto, Thomas Carroll, Mikhail Nemtsov, Stephany Yang, and the legendary late Dmitry Volkov.
Recordings
Brunswick, Maine · August 4, 2006
Sonny Oram, viola
Mikhail Nemtsov, cello
Stephanie Yang, piano
Recorded August 2008 · Released 2026
I was studying viola performance at Oberlin Conservatory when I recorded this song in my bedroom without using any of the school's recording facilities. It then sat unheard for 18 years—a reminder of what we lose when we reward only perfection and specialization instead of experimentation.
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Collapsed minds run insanity through circles, grasping gulps of salty air, my head goes first.
Is my face pale?
Speech not slurred. I walk through oblivion until finally I arrive at a dumpster.
I look inside and find some pen and paper. There I have it — another day to save for.
Give it up now, they may say it's yours, but my heart isn't over.
[Radio head: she’s a weirdo, she’s a weirdo, she’s a weirdo…]
They say I look like I always do, head on my shoulders. I get a year older, I put my foot in front of the other.
There I have it, another day to save for.
Give it up now, they may say it's yours, but my heart isn't over.
Everything stays the same, and the change I attempt puts me spinning back.
My mind collapses into thunder.
No wonder.
Every conversation minds its lies.
Can you look into my eyes and see more than you want to realize?
I know we're all the same, but some were born to bother.
[Radio head: she’s a weirdo, she’s a weirdo, she’s a weirdo…]
There I have it, another day to save for.
Give it up now, they may say it's yours, but my heart isn't over.
[Radio head: weirdo…]
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I wrote and recorded Collapsed Minds at 19, during a period of constant panic attacks that caused me to pass out, leave class abruptly, or burst into tears without knowing why. The attacks began at 14, after I was assaulted during a doctor's appointment. I was also living with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and autism, which made connecting with my peers difficult.
Between the ages of 16 and 19 I was groomed by six adults and older students at music programs. I received no help for the trauma. One woman threatened my life if I told anyone.
By 19, I felt profoundly alone, confused that I could be suffering so intensely while appearing completely normal to everyone else. The lyric “I know we're all the same, but some were born to bother” reflected my bewilderment that others seemed indifferent to things I cared deeply about.
Sampling Radiohead's Creep, the song uses fragmented thoughts, surreal imagery, and repetition to capture the disorientation of panic and the loneliness of feeling invisible. Looking back, I hear it as a desperate attempt to make my internal suffering visible to a world that couldn't see it.